The Dance
by NDFightingIrishFan
Summary: Spencer thinks she would do anything to change the pain of her past, but would she really miss the dance in order to miss the pain.
1. Chapter 1

As Spencer Carlin heard the opening piano chords of an all too familiar song play over the radio, she knew it was a bad idea to let her roommate, Jordyn Donovan, pick what radio station to listen to as they house cleaned to prepare for their guests that evening. There was always something about Country music that seemed to hit a little too close to the pain of life.

_Lookin' back | On the memory of_

_The dance we shared | Beneath the stars above_

_And for a moment | All the world was right_

_But how could I have known | That you'd ever say goodbye_

Ten years later and it still hurt to hear those lyrics that seemed to be parallel to her life back then.

_And now | I'm glad I didn't know_

_The way it all would end | The way it all would go_

_Our lives | Are better left to chance_

_I could have missed the pain |But I'da had to miss the dance_

The 28 year old blue-eyed blonde sighed in frustration. She didn't care what Garth Brooks, Chris Gaines, or whatever name he was going by these days said she would give anything to have known what was going to happen back then.

_Holding you | I held everything_

_And for a moment | Wasn't I a king_

_But if I'd only known | How the king would fall_

_Hey who's to say | You know I might have changed it all_

And there was no doubt in her mind she would've changed everything and completely removed herself from anything that had to do with Ashley Davies and Aiden Dennison. Years of frustration revealed itself as she launched the vase she was cleaning across the living room.

As the vase smashed against the wall, Jordyn came running from the kitchen to find Spencer sitting on the couch with her head in her hands.

"Spencer what the hell happened!"

"It's nothing, Jord really, I'm fine." When Spencer looked up at her, Jordyn knew she wasn't fine.

"Spencer Lynn Carlin, ever since you decided, unwillingly I might add, to go to your ten year High School reunion, you've been constantly on edge. Please tell me what's going on."

It was true; she had no intention of going to her reunion. She had a hard enough time leaving the past in the past, without being face-to-face with the people and memories from King High again. But her twin brother, Glen reminded her that she gets paid to convince her clients on a daily basis to face their fears and not run away from their past mistakes and regrets. Spencer knew he was right but that didn't make the dread of revisiting her past any easier.

"Alright Jord, I'll explain everything to you, but not today, we have to get this house cleaned before everyone gets here."

"Fine Spen, but we are talking about this tomorrow and don't you dare try to avoid me!"

Spencer looked at her friend and smiled slightly. "I won't I promise, now let's get back to cleaning this disaster area."

"Ha, your room is a disaster area; the rest of this place merely looks like it had a small storm hit."

"Yeah, okay maybe if it was a category 5 hurricane." Both women laughed as they continued cleaning the various rooms in their house.


	2. Chapter 2

As their family and friends were starting to arrive, Jordyn was organizing the food tables and putting plates, napkins, and silverware out and Spencer was finishing up the tossed salad to go with the chicken cacciatore and meatball paninis she had made.

Spencer's Dad, Arthur, came up behind her and kissed her cheek, as he dipped his finger in the chicken cacciatore. "Hey honey, this tastes great."

"Hi Dad thanks, you should like it, it's your recipe." Spencer smiled and winked at her Dad before he headed into the living room with the others. Spencer picked up the serving bowls and placed them on the food tables in the dining room.

"Aunt Spencer, Aunt Spencer!" Spencer's 5 year old nephew Colton and 4 year old niece Jadyn came running up to her. Spencer knelt down and hugged both of them. "Hey munchkins, I missed you!"

Everyone started to fill their plates with the wonderful food and took a place either at the dining room table or throughout the living room. Spencer smiled as she looked around the room to see the mix of family and friends. Her Mom, Paula and her Dad sat in the living room helping their Grandkids eat at the smaller kids table as Glen and his wife Madison were at the dining room table talking to Jordyn, her boyfriend Chase, her brother Matt and his wife Kelly, and Jordyn's parents Jack and Samantha. On the couches a few of her high school and college friends were talking and laughing.

She loved her friends and was glad they had remained so close, but sometimes seeing Stacy and Jill would cause her to have flashbacks to high school, not that she really needed anything to remind her of what happened, she had a constant reminder from the scar above her left eyebrow and the one on the left side of her chest, ironically where her heart would lie beneath/

After several hours of everyone eating and hanging out, Spencer and Jordyn were finishing cleaning everything up. Glen and Matt had stayed behind to help them clean up and they were now hugging them and saying their goodbyes. Chase had also stayed and helped clean up and was now waiting for Jordyn in her room.

The women got ready for bed and said goodnight to each other, retiring to their bedrooms for the night.

Spencer was having trouble falling asleep, her mind was racing, wonder how much she should tell Jordyn tomorrow about her high school past. As she sighed she made up her mind that she would be completely honest to her, maybe she would have some closure if she finally talked about, she knew she wasn't going to get it any other way.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer woke up at six in the morning. She knew she had at least two hours before Jordyn would wake up. The blonde descended the stairs and headed for the kitchen to make coffee and toast a bagel. After putting milk and sugar in her coffee and spreading cream cheese on her bagel, she headed to the front porch and placed her breakfast on the bistro table and sat down in one of the chair four chairs surrounding it. She loved sitting on the porch early on a Sunday morning, when everything was still quiet and she could be alone with her thoughts.

Around seven, she had been smiling as she watched two squirrels chase after each other and run up a maple tree in the front yard. She was then surprised to see Jordyn make an appearance so early on a Sunday morning. The brunette sat down in the chair opposite Spencer and let out a sigh.

"I don't know how you get up so early all the time and still manage to be so damn happy. I really do suspect you're on meds, are you?"

Spencer laughed while glaring at her roommate and best friend. "No I'm not, but I really think you should look into getting some for yourself."

The brunette only grunted, not awake enough to muster any other retaliation. After about ten minutes of sitting in silence, Jordyn turned to Spencer and without words being said she knew it was time to explain what had been going on in her head.

Spencer took at deep breath and began to stare off at nothing in particular as she began the story she never really wanted to visit again, but knew she desperately needed to talk about.

_Well to explain the whole story I have to go back to the first day I met Ashley Davies and Aiden Dennison. Glen and I were five and were in kindergarten. I don't really remember all the details of that day other than we were well into the school year and it was a nice warm day. I remember being outside King Elementary School for recess and playing kickball with some of my classmates. I had just made it around all the bases and back to home after several errors from the other team and was looking around for Glen to see if he saw. However, I didn't see him by the monkey bars where he had been standing a few minutes ago. Call it twin intuition or whatever, but I felt like something was wrong. I left the kickball game and started walking around the playground looking everywhere for him. As I was about to round the side of the school I heard laughter. I looked around the corner and saw a brunette boy shove Glen to the ground and a brunette girl standing there laughing with him. I ran over and helped Glen up and then stood in front of him. I glared at them trying to convey all the anger that was inside me at that moment. _

_When I yelled and asked the boy why he pushed my brother, they both laughed and he simply said because he could. The girl then told us to stay out of their way from now on. They both walked away with smug smirks on their faces, while I stood there fuming and Glen stood there looking embarrassed and on the verge of crying. In a minute or two he had pulled himself together though and had a brave front on at least. Turns out Glen had interrupted the pair as they were trying to steal lunch money from another classmate and they didn't really appreciate that too much. After pointing out the boy and girl to some classmates, I found out they were Ashley and Aiden and they were always picking a flavor of the month to bully into giving them money or anything else they decided they wanted._

_By the grace of God, I never really saw Ashley or Aiden throughout the rest of grade school. I wasn't purposely avoiding them, luckily there were so many kids at that school that it wasn't unusual to see someone everyday one year and never have another class with them. It wasn't until seventh grade that we had any classes together. The first day of class she must've recognized me as she walked into History. The teacher and the other students hadn't started to arrive yet. I was engrossed in a book I was reading and didn't notice her until she flung my books off my desk as she walked past. Unfortunately for her my foot instinctively went out in front of her as she smirked at me and she suddenly face planted on the floor next to me. She jumped up so fast from the floor, spun around and we both stared wide-eyed at each other with our mouths hanging open. Her shock soon turned to a death glare that sent a chill through me. I was never so happy to see a teacher as I was when ours walked in and Ashley was forced to take her seat rather than attempt to kill me and hide my body in a dumpster. I didn't look in her direction at all through that class, but I could feel her glare on me the whole time. Something told me she wasn't learning anything about the Revolutionary War, but was plotting her revenge on me. That day began a back and forth sport of retaliation between us._

_It's kind of funny really, the fight started between Aiden and Glen yet they ended up at least getting along shortly after that day when they both started playing basketball for the school. Yet here Ashley and I were seven years later fighting like mortal enemies. It had started with small harmless pranks, a whoopee cushion was placed on my homeroom chair, and then I put whipped cream under the lock on her locker. Soon however, it turned into a challenge to outdo the other. My locker was stuffed with packing peanuts; I don't even want to know how Ashley knew how to break into a locker at that age. Then I put super glue on her homeroom chair. Unfortunately this resulted in me getting a day of detention, my parents were not at all happy about that. I have to say though, I never laughed so hard as when Ashley's skirt that was barely covering anything to begin with, was completely ripped off and she ran through the halls to retrieve her gym clothes._

_The attempts at one-upping each other continued until part way through ninth grade. It got to the point where no other students wanted to sit or walk by either of us for fear they would be caught in the crossfire. Around mid January we finally called a truce due to the fact that in order to pull a better prank at this point we would no doubt end up getting expelled. We had both received our share of detentions and were close to getting expelled for that alone. I could tell Mrs. Brady, the principal, was extremely tired of seeing us stroll into her office and was on the verge of losing her usually nonexistent temper. I was a freshman starter on the girls' basketball team and would also be playing softball in the spring; I couldn't take the risk of getting kicked off either team. Since Ashley was involved in the upcoming musical and was on the high school swim team she was more receptive than I thought she would be when I extended an olive branch and asked that we stop the feud. Of course before agreeing Ashley made it very clear that this truce in no way meant that we were going to become friends. I assured her there was no need for her to worry about that happening, because I knew better. On her suggestion, we shook hands to seal the deal. I was surprised to say the least, when I felt warmth on my hand when we touched. I noticed a softening in her eyes, but it didn't last soon they were back to their normal cold gaze and Ashley let go of my hand as fast as he could. _

_After that day we stayed out of each other's way, I chalked the warmth I felt up to her hands being sweaty or me having a hot flash, either way I wasn't allowing myself to think of it as anything else. There had been just too much bitterness in our pasts to allow one handshake to change it all. Had I only known how much things would change and at the same time wouldn't._


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer and Jordyn took a brief break from the story to go back in the house and clean up their breakfast dishes. They were now sitting on the living room couch facing each other, both with a glass of water sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch. Spencer took a moment to collect her thoughts again and to take a sip of water and then she continued her story.

_By the time the middle of my senior year rolled around, I felt like I was on top of the world. Glen and I had been captains of our State Champion boys' and girls' soccer teams and as captains of the boys' and girls' basketball teams we were both on track to become state basketball champions as well. I was also a straight A student and had already started receiving full scholarship acceptances from various colleges, some for academics and some for athletics. At that point I hadn't even started to really look at the acceptances let alone narrow them down at all._

_From Ninth through Eleventh grade at most I would have one class with Ashley, but Senior year I suddenly couldn't escape her; I had Physics, English, Gym, History, and Film/Photography with her. Her and Aiden were actually dating now and had been for about a year I guess. They were constantly making out in the hallway or cafeteria, it was rather nauseating. Ashley and I were still managing to keep our distance from each other, sitting at opposite sides of a classroom and trying to avoid eye contact in the hall. Trying being the key word, as much as my mind wanted to stay away from her, my eyes always seemed to be magnetically drawn to her for some reason. However, our truce was still intact with no new incidents occurring with us. _

_Maybe if things would've stayed that way, I would be better off now, but our Film/Photography and History teachers had other plans and decided it was time to do projects in pairs. Imagine my surprise when Ashley and I ended up being put together for both projects. In History, when Mr. Horton announced we were partners, my eyes immediately shot up and found hers, I honestly expected groaning or her hitting her head off her desk or a fierce objection and begging for a new partner, but all she did was turn and look at me blankly with no other reaction. I was kind of wishing she would have objected, at least then I would've known what she was thinking. With only a blank stare I had no idea what was going on in her head or if I should be worried._

_Mr. Horton explained that we were to pick the event in US History that we believed made the most impact on the people who went through it and on how we live today. We needed to have a ten page paper along with a PowerPoint presentation outlining what occurred during the event, how it affected the people of the time, and why we felt it made the most impact to them and on today's society. When the bell rang I gathered my books and headed for the door. As I started down the hall, I felt a hand and instant warmth on my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Ashley, but I did turn around. She looked nervous as she asked me if I wanted to get together over the weekend to start on the project. I agreed and we exchanged phone numbers and she said she would call me that evening to work out details. _

_Film/Photography was my last class of the day. It was my favorite class so I was glad I got to finish the day on a good note. Ms. Carter began the class describing the next project she was assigning us and that we would be working in pairs that she would be picking. She wanted us to interview our partner to learn about their lives and what decision or event they think made the most impact on their life. In addition to recording the video and editing it, we were also supposed to take various pictures of our subject. Again when Ashley and I were made partners my eyes immediately found her. This time she didn't turn around, but I swear I saw her smile slightly and shake her head._

_As the bell rang I again gathered my books and headed for the door. Just like after History I felt Ashley's hand on my shoulder, this time she had a slightly tighter grip on my shoulder. When I turned around she still looked nervous, but had a small smile on her face as she looked into my eyes. She said she guessed we were going to be spending a lot of time together. I chuckled and told her I thought she was right. We headed in different directions when we exited the building; but she turned around after walking a few feet and yelled that she would call me later. I didn't understand why, but I couldn't remove the goofy smile that was on my face._

_I was so nervous that night, not knowing when she would call or even if she actually would. The phone rang around 8:30 and I nearly fell flat on the floor as I tripped over my laptop cord trying to get to the phone before anyone else in the house did. Of course since I had to pull myself together and regain my balance, Glen was able to answer first. As soon as he heard a female voice on the other end he kicked into full on flirt mode, which is what I was hoping to avoid. When I heard him trying to convince the caller she wanted to talk to him and not me, I snatched the phone from his hand and headed up to my room. We didn't talk very long just long enough to agree that I would be at her house at ten the next morning and then said our goodbyes. I had trouble falling asleep that night, I was nervous and excited at the same time for the day to come. I truly felt that things were going to be different between us now and I couldn't wait to find out._


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks everyone for the reviews, I really appreciate it and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

_The next morning I drove to the address Ashley had given me and to say I was shocked by the size of the house would be an understatement. She must've notice I was in awe because she explained that her Dad was rock star Raife Davies and her Mom, Christine, was a high profile LA Attorney. After giving me a tour of her hour we finished in her bedroom and Ashley suggested we play 20 questions before we started on our projects so we could get to know each other better. We spent about half an hour going back and forth with various questions. Most were simple, "What's your favorite color?" type questions, but the last few were a little deeper like "Where do you see yourself in five years?" and "If you could go back and change one action you did or decision you made what would you change?"_

_Ashley answered with a smile that she saw herself following in her Dad's footsteps and would be somewhere in Europe on her latest album tour and Madonna would be her opening act. At that time I saw myself playing soccer in the Olympics, but as you know an ankle sprain junior year at NYU and a torn ACL senior year put a stop to that dream, but forced me to focus on my studies instead. _

_To the last question, I said I would have spent more time with my Grandma Carlin before she passed away and taken the time to learn how to cook and bake from her. I have recipes that were hers, but they never seem to turn out the same as when she made them. There are some things you can only learn from someone with years of experience and not from even the best cookbooks out there. My response was probably pretty normal, but what she was about to say shocked me completely. She said she wished she could go back and change how she had treated me in the past. My eyes had to be three times their regular size as I stared at her in disbelief. She put her hand on mine as we faced each other on her bed and explained that she had especially regretted how we had first met and that she was such a bully back then. She felt that she missed out on so many years that we could have been friends. If we had been friends she wouldn't need a stupid game of 20 questions to try to figure me out, she would already know everything about me._

_I turned my hand over and laced our fingers together, trying to ignore the warmth I was feeling everywhere from just that simple touch. I squeezed her hand and looking into her sad brown eyes, I told her we had the rest of our lives to learn everything about each other and make up for all those years. Her eyes were blinking in an attempt to stop tears falling and I knew my eyes looked the same. I removed my hand from hers and pulled her into a hug. I never wanted to let go of her and I could tell she was in no hurry to end the hug either, but after a few moments we pulled apart and reluctantly started on our history project._

_After that first Saturday, we began meeting every Friday night and Saturday at one of our houses over the next few months to work on our projects. I would've been in complete denial to not realize that I was developing feelings for Ashley. After that first day, the lingering touches were increasing and whenever one of us left the other we would hug longer than we should need to. She was still with Aiden though and it killed me to see them together at school. I could've sworn she didn't look happy whenever he touched her or kissed her, yet she would still let him. At times I think she could feel my eyes on her and she would look around until she found my eyes and our gaze would lock. She must've seen the sadness in my eyes and would look away and then remove herself from any contact with Aiden. _

_We finished our History project one Saturday night in April and instead of working on our Film/Photography project she talked me into going to a party with her and Aiden. I wasn't thrilled about the possibility of being a third wheel or having to watch them be together, but figured I could ditch them and hang out with other classmates that would be there. Aiden had already been at the party when we got there and was in the middle of a game of beer pong. By the amount of swaying back and forth he was doing he had not been winning. When he looked up and saw Ashley he ran over and sloppily kissed her. She allowed him to kiss her once, but then pushed him off. Surprisingly, he didn't seem to care and stumbled back to the game. _

_There was a group of guys and girls sitting in a circle in the living room about to play spin the bottle. One of Ashley's friends called her over to play and she grabbed my hand and pulled me with her as she sat down and joined the circle. According to the rules, the kiss had to last at least twenty seconds and you couldn't refuse the kiss even if it was someone of the same sex. My first two kisses were with Matt Sanders and Jeff London, both were okay, but nothing to write home about. Ashley's first two kisses were with Adam Simpson and Karri Thoms. I didn't like watching her kiss anyone, but luckily she didn't seem to really be into either kiss, both lasted the required 20 seconds and not a second longer._

_Then on my next spin the bottle ended up pointing at Ashley and in that moment it felt like everything was in slow motion. We both stood up and both looked extremely nervous, struggling to look each other in the eyes. I can honestly say I never saw her look so nervous before, her normal confidence was completely gone. Feeling a sudden desire to take control of the situation, I placed my finger under her chin and tilted her head up until she was looking into my eyes. I then moved my hand to her cheek and glided my thumb tenderly over it. As we continued to gaze into each other's eyes I couldn't resist her any longer and I leaned in and lightly pressed my lips to hers. With that simple and gentle connection of our lips I knew I never wanted to kiss anyone else and that I'd never be truly happy until I could kiss her again._


End file.
